One part of our adoption journey, the long wait to meet Hope, is almost over, but the more challenging part of the journey will then begin, which is helping Hope to feel like a part of our family. One advantage of the long wait is that I have had plenty of time to learn about attachment issues. I've talked with Jen, who has spoken with many adopted families about this issue, and I've read many articles about attachment issues in adoption. I’ve learned that it can take adopted toddlers (or adopted children of any age) a long time to trust that their parents will take care of their needs and be there for them. We’ll have plenty of on the job training very soon.
Although Hope is a year old, in many ways we will be treating her like an infant in order to help create a bond. Her needs will be responded to immediately, so that she will know that we will always be there to take care of her, and that we will always keep her safe. It's recommended that the parents be the only ones to meet the needs of the newly adopted child. With this in mind, Jen and I (with some help from Bella) will be the only ones to hold, feed, change, and comfort her for at least the first month that we are together. I know that this will be hard for some family and friends to understand, especially if she seems to be adjusting well and appears eager to go to others, but often the child has learned to try and please everyone, because he or she never knew who would be taking care of them next. In some cases that I've read, the child went more willingly to relative strangers than to their own parents, most likely because they were protecting themselves just in case their parents left their lives as so many others had done.
With this in mind, we will be laying low for a while once we return home to give us time to come together as a family, and to allow Hope time to start to adjust to the changes in her life. I can’t imagine what it will be like for her to have her world turned upside down, yet again.
We appreciate the support we have received from everyone in our lives and know that you will be very eager to meet Hope. Please be assured that we will be eager to introduce her to you when the time is right.
Here are a few links to articles that I would recommend everyone read:
Welcome Home Hope! We can't wait to meet you! See you all in December.
ReplyDeleteYou are very wise and most prepared. Only a few more days until the girl you have held in your hearts for so long will now be held in your arms. May the departure tomorrow be the beginning of a new life for your Family of 4Ever. We will be so anxious to see these next few days and weeks unfold.
ReplyDeleteDear Jennifer &Scott :your are very welcome. I'm so happy I can do
ReplyDeletethis for you.I hope I can see Meiqi very soon too. good luck
Daisy