For when we return...

One part of our adoption journey, the long wait to meet Hope, is almost over, but the more challenging part of the journey will then begin, which is helping Hope to feel like a part of our family. One advantage of the long wait is that I have had plenty of time to learn about attachment issues.  I've talked with Jen, who has spoken with many adopted families about this issue, and I've read many articles about attachment issues in adoption.  I’ve learned that it can take adopted toddlers (or adopted children of any age) a long time to trust that their parents will take care of their needs and be there for them.  We’ll have plenty of on the job training very soon.

Although Hope is a year old, in many ways we will be treating her like an infant in order to help create a bond.  Her needs will be responded to immediately, so that she will know that we will always be there to take care of her, and that we will always keep her safe.  It's recommended that the parents be the only ones to meet the needs of the newly adopted child. With this in mind, Jen and I (with some help from Bella) will be the only ones to hold, feed, change, and comfort her for at least the first month that we are together. I know that this will be hard for some family and friends to understand, especially if she seems to be adjusting well and appears eager to go to others, but often the child has learned to try and please everyone, because he or she never knew who would be taking care of them next. In some cases that I've read, the child went more willingly to relative strangers than to their own parents, most likely because they were protecting themselves just in case their parents left their lives as so many others had done.

With this in mind, we will be laying low for a while once we return home to give us time to come together as a family, and to allow Hope time to start to adjust to the changes in her life. I can’t imagine what it will be like for her to have her world turned upside down, yet again.

We appreciate the support we have received from everyone in our lives and know that you will be very eager to meet Hope. Please be assured that we will be eager to introduce her to you when the time is right. 

Here are a few links to articles that I would recommend everyone read:

http://www.deborahhage.com/articles/guest_authors/hholman1.html

http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=92&Itemid=90

http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=93&Itemid=90

Leaving for China tomorrow!

I haven't had time to post until now, but on Monday, our agency called and asked if we could be in China by Saturday!  The whole thing has to do with expiring paperwork, which would have delayed our travel had we not left this early.  So we spent Monday making flight arrangements.  We leave tomorrow!  We arrive in Wuhan on Saturday.  No stop in Beijing for touring - there's just no time.  We meet Hope on Monday!  We leave China on August 25th, but we are flying into Tokyo, and don't arrive back in the States until August 29th!  Not ideal, but that's how we were able to make it work.  The good news is that we were able to use Skymiles for upgrades, and we're flying either first or business class the entire trip.  That will help eleviate some of the stress that we're feeling right now, I hope.  I'll post our itinerary when I get a chance.

Waiting for TA

We're currently waiting for our TA (Travel Authorization), which will give us our travel dates.  We've learned  that some families who received referrals in mid-July, as we did, have received their TA's, and so we expect to see something soon.  Things will then kick into high gear as we scramble to book flights, etc.  Stay tuned!

The Gate

Hope is currently in the province of Hubei (often referred to as "China's oven", due to the heat and humidity).  So I thought I'd search the web for other adoption blogs from families whose children are also in, or were in, Hubei.  I found a link to another family's site, who had documented their journey to China, just as we will.  As I read through each entry in the the blog, to my surprise, not only was their daughter was found in Xiangfan City - the same city where Hope was found - but also at the exact same gate at the city's Civil Affairs Department!  (According to the blog, the gate is a common spot for children to be left in that city).  What really put a lump in my throat, though, was the accompanying picture of the gate, as well as a picture of a row of cribs taken in the same orphanage where Hope had lived.

After staring at the pictures for a while, I began to think about the day that she was left at that gate.  Was it dark?  Did the parents stay nearby and watch her to make sure that someone found her?  How long was she there?  How hard must it have been for them to leave her there?  She was only one month old.


Here's a picture of the gate:

Meet our new daughter!

After 4 1/2 years of waiting, we can finally introduce everyone to Hope, our (soon to be) new daughter!

We knew that our referral was coming - we follow the adoption blogs and knew that others were receiving referrals, but based on what happened last month, we were a bit nervous.  So Friday, Jen emailed her contact Stephanie at the adoption agency, who confirmed that our referral was coming, and told us that she would call us as soon as she had information.  Stephanie called at about 11:00 PM, and gave us a few details - Our soon to be daughter will be one year old on 7/18/2010, and is currently living with a foster family in the province of Hubei, in the city of Wuhan.  She is by all accounts healthy, and Stephanie described her as very cute!

But we still didn't have pictures!  They were still processing the actual referral, so we went to bed eager for the morning.  As soon as I woke up this morning, I checked the email, and there was the referral that we had been waiting for for so long.  I brought the laptop upstairs to Jen, and together we opened the referral and saw her face for the first time.  We think that she's adorable, and it appears that the foster family is taking good care of her.  I think I see a hint of a dimple, just like daddy!     

Along with the referral, which is mostly in Chinese, we received translated details about our new daughter.  She was found at 2 am on August 11th, 2009 at the gate of the civil affair department of the city of Xiang Fan, by a policeman.  She was taken to the Social Welfare Institute the same day, and was given the name Meiqi Fan.  Meiqi means "pretty as jade", and Fan is for the city in which she was found. 

In March 2010, she was placed with a foster family in Wuhan.  Her sleep pattern and appetite are described as good, and it says that she loves to play outside, and pick flowers in the grass in the yard!  When she sees a butterfly, it says, she will open her arms and try to fly.  Too cute!

So now we await our itinerary.  We know that we will first fly to Beijing, then Wuhan, then Guangzhou, but don't know the exact dates yet.  We will post the details when we have them.  Until then!

Nothing yet

Rumor has it that members of the CCAA traveled somewhere this month, which accounts for the delay in the process this month. Supposedly, they are in the process of matching now (matching families with children). I'm guessing that we will hear something next week. I can't recall seeing referrals go past the middle of the month.

Some semi-disappointing news

Remember last month when I said that we knew for sure that we would be receiving our referral this month? Well, I was wrong.

We had originally thought that our “magic” date was April 23rd, 2006. I'll explain again, because it gets confusing, this is the login date, the date we were officially approved for adoption. As this June approached, the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) had referred children to families with login dates through April 21st, 2006.

We examined our adoption agency paperwork several weeks ago, and noticed that the paperwork showed April 26th, not April 23rd as we had thought. Not sure how the 23rd got into our brains, but it did. No big deal, though, there was still a good chance that they would reach the 26th this month.

We follow the adoption websites very closely. On Friday, word was out that the cutoff date was April 26th, which meant that, after a 4 ½ year wait, we would get to see a picture of our child’s face in just a couple of days! We were excited and nervous all weekend. On Monday, we saw posts on our favorite adoption website that families were receiving calls from their agencies, and pictures! The day went by with no calls to us. We were a little worried, but calls aren't always made that first day, so we just needed to patient, we thought. Tuesday goes by – still no calls. Tuesday night I called the agency. They had nothing for us. They called the CCAA. At 1:00 am on Wednesday, we received an email from our agency. The CCAA has our login date recorded as April 27th, 2006, not April 26th. We're not sure how or why the wires got crossed, and we may not ever know, but it is what it is.

My body must have known that something was up. I had 102 temp on Monday, and 100 on Tuesday.

Initially we were extremely let down, as you might imagine. But we came to realize that when we finally see the child that is matched with us next month, and then meet her, we will be so happy that it worked out the way that it did, and in the end wouldn't have it any other way!

Long story short, we will get a referral next month, which means travel in mid to late August.